hmmm

why does everyone justtalk amongst themselvesabout how they musthelp their brothers.no one seem toreally give acare if anyonereally lives or dies.We got people in our groups who are al talk. In fact, I think most of us are about ALL TALK.We get a good idea. We share it... and it just sounds sooooo goood... that we just toally forget. Then it comes up every once in a while. Then it's gone.I just posted a bulletin on myspace that says...[and i quote:]this week i've now witnessed twoincidents where the innocent and in a way.. helpless... get robbed.not just literally of course.but when someone robs somethin dear of yours with anger... you feel it.and the feeling lingers.when someone breaks into your car. you will be afraid to park in a "shady" neighborhood.when you get your house broken into.. you feel there's no safe place anywhere.one lady got her purse stolen by my work. I turn and see a figure run by while three men chase after the thief. Coward. She was old and weak. why?why her? someone's grandma?she might not be able to pay something? maybe won't be able to call the plumber about her broken shower and toilet.who knows. but why?!he got away in a car he had set up.he even organized it!!!what the hell?And just a short while ago...and old man got attacked.two young individuals [male, in gender] attacked an old man.beat him up and took his wallet.they were dressed in a formal fashion, this man was just walking his bike home... wherever that may be... and they just beat him...I was sitting talking away about this and that... things that may never matter. then I hear a guy yellingAAHHH HELP!!! So I slowly go outside and se two figure about 30 yards away attackin someone. i slowly walk towards them and see that one is walking in my direction. he calmly looks at me and says "they're drunk. crazy"then i see him get into a white car that must've known that it was "time".one guy was still beating up the old man and he said something about his wallet. and then the same guy who was attacking the older man runs towards me. saying..."hey homie. you want some too?"instinctively i run away. scared for my life.he jumps into the same car.cowards.why beat up an old man?what did he do?are you going to go buy pot? beer?pay off your debt.this world is scary.after running inside i go out cause i hear sirens from an ambulance. I see about three cop cars and an ambulance. i see the old man. bloody. sadfrightened.in psalms david says that he will stand up for the weak and fatherless.and defend the cause of the poor and righteous. [if not something along those lines].the point is....he was a king. and honest.he could easily be hand fed everyday and relax for most of his life.we are more capable than most people to help our own brothers and sisters and nieghbors.man....I'm amazed at how much can be caused by evil.i need to talk to someone..im me.-lionambience[end quote]and soo... I figured. I have a journal. Why not put it in there. Cause it sounds good. I would hate to have forgotten it. I'm basically in one of those moods where no answer will satisfy you. Where one answer will satisfy for a minute but will only raise another ten questions.Where a blank is only as white as it's darkest area. it's shawdow.man. i'm just alking crazy now.

Sooo

Atheism.

Not the belief that there is no god, but rather considered the "lack of belief" in a God.

In a debate I read, an Apologetic(man) speaking with an Atheist tells him that you must either believe in a God (or diety of some sort) or not. The lack of belief is to not take any action whilst beleiving either way (to believe or not) requires an action or acceptance in the mind, or so they say.

The Christian guy talks about the belief in Santa. He says that you either accept that he IS real or that HE IS NOT. And that by standing aside and letting it just stay as a "fact" of how people view it will not bother many. By standing by however one cannot help but either believe IN or believe [NOT] IN.

Pretty crazy stuff, and hard to understand fully.

what i think, what i want, what i [don't] know

I've been readin The Iressistable Revolution by Shane Clairborne and well, I feel very much moved by the things he's done and things that The Simple Way [simpleway.org] has done and I think I'm going to find my way over there and do what I can to help out. I want to learn. I want to do something with my life that will mean something. Not to me, not to others, not to history, but to God. That'd be great. One of the things I also want to learn is to have that heart to just love. JUST LOVE. No technicalities like "maybe just a little bit, cause I mean, he killed a guy." JUST LOVE. In the [sometimes better said] words of Conor Oberst "No Lies, JUST LOVE" So I'll learn. I'll be tested and fail, and then it's back to square one. So that's my future (and what I've convinced myself to see, and my life can head a totally different direction... it's up to God) and I'm left wondering. How about now?


How about now? What shoudl I do?


My GOAL:Re present who Christ is [not was, but is] and share Him and His love with EVERYONE, not just who I think needs it, but EVERYONE. And not only that... but not brag about. Just Do It.

growing up or growing stupid?

I guess I kinda just had thought on wether we are born selfish into this world.. (among many other things) ... where all we really know is "me, me me me meeeeeee!!" and I guess our minds our set automatically in that manner cause I think I would be able to remember when I wanted something and had to beg for it. So babies... are they just born, with like automatic settings that they know when they are hungry and when they wantt o sleep ... or do they have a brain process? Huhh....... I guess the only thing that roots to all of this is... GOD! He makes us soo unique.. that some of us may remember things when we were young.. or even babies! and so we must have intellect when we are young... and as we grow older... we grow a little smarter no? We learn that there is more to the world than just us... and there's more to th world than just the world.. and there's more to that than something else... and then we are led to God (if don't already grow in a God-related family).. so we learn... and we learn.. some learn better/more/better than others ... so what does it come out to? trying to explain God? why try ? You can't explain God, which in itself is bigger than you, without first explaining yourself. And that in ITSELF is impossible... so are we really gaining any knowledge? or do we just gain wisdom? and which is better? which is given to us by God? .... hmmm.. interesting ....



Love Alain

copied and pasted from eastsideyouth...

it's weird... how things work out... and how God is always the root of what happens... He's really doing a number on me. What I mean by that is that this weekend I've been feeling very ... blank ... and unclear and boggled about everything... but I know I still stand by Him ... unfortunately I'm still pretty distant, but I'm trying my best (I guess, I'm not actually) to change that...My actions have been small but they were because of God... This morning during worship after communion I was facedown in prayer and worship.... I didn't realize it till after halfway through the next song... that I was alive and I hadn't moved... you when you're really really into your prayer that you forget about yourself and that you have a life and that if you let Him, God will make it the best peice of heaven that can reach Earth..... which is what I'm working on... He's broken me... THAT'S IT!!! That's what I have had happen to me.. He broke me... I just realized this.... wow... he's molding me, because He knows I want Him to lead me down a great path... and live for Him....even though I am not at all worthy of anything He has ever given me... I feel really satisfied and greatfull right now.... Man... this is rad...

Hmm...

I guess and introduction would be cool to post first. And even cooler for me to look at later.

My name is Alain.
I go to Eastside Christian Church. I live in the town of Disneyland. I enjoy hugs, rain, love, and music (not necessarily in that order). I also enjoy reading, photography, looking at pictures, finding God in everything. I was "made" in 1988, and I will be between the ages of 16 and 18 in less than a month. Well at the end of this one...

I hope whoever might read this enjoys it.

I also want to use this to extend prayer to anyone and everyone. about anything and eveything. So if you want you can e-mail me at in_keeping_the_secrets@yahoo.com

Thanks.

His,
Alain.

P.S.
Let me know if you read this, it'd be cool.